How is it that your husband can take a bathroom break for 30 minutes and no one goes looking for him, but when you are trying to hide and fold laundry without “helpers” you are found before ten things are folded? I was praying with this feeling overwhelmed with the white crown of motherhood. I was feeling frustrated that my children would literally walk past their dad at the sink to find me on a different floor in the house to ask me to fill up their water bottle.
I went to my much needed mom’s group and we were talking about Mary and her hidden life with Jesus. Did Jesus walk by Joseph to ask Mary for help? Then the question was posed, “what is your relationship like with Mary?”
Whenever I think about Mary and pray with her, I feel peace. I feel calm, seen, loved, and cared for. When I pray in adoration or talk with Jesus, I feel polar ends. I feel overwhelming, tear- jerking love and eternally cherished. In the same prayer I also feel unworthy, and sinfully ashamed to call Him Lord. Knowing that it is Him who will judge me when I die causes me to struggle in prayer sometimes. It was in this reflection that I realized I act exactly as my children do – moving past a loving father at the sink, who wants to fill my water, right over to my Blessed Mother. When I am struggling seeking patience, I am muttering Hail Mary prayers. When I am folding laundry, matching socks and praying for my children’s future “perfect match” I am asking Mary to bring them together. When I am late, getting shoes on feet attached to legs that magically cannot function anymore, I am asking Mary to come quickly and help me put on their hats as well. When I am thankful in the quiet during naps, a decade or two of a rosary.
I know Mary will lovingly pass my cup to Jesus, who fills it at her request for me. I find solace in my love for Mary and comfort in her arms. I know she will lead me to Jesus and intercede for me along the way.
