Recently, I took my 5-year-old daughter new clothes shopping for the spring. She’s at a tricky size, and I really needed her to try on shorts in the store (fingertip length is so hard on a tall, skinny girl!). I also saw it as an opportunity to spend some one-on-one time with my strong-willed middle child. Growing up, I went shopping with my mom and those days were some of my most favorite days ever; so I also wanted to experience that with my daughter for the first time.
Typically, I just order my kid’s clothing online when a sale is going on and the clothes just magically appear on our doorstep. So taking my daughter to the store was a fascinating experience – for both of us.
First off, there were SO many options in my daughter’s mind. Usually, I do all the picking out. I had never even thought about the fact that for my daughter, she had never considered that there were more options than just the few items that show up at the door. She was quite literally like a kid in a candy shop. She kept grabbing different items and saying “Oh mommy I LOVE this! And this! Look at this! Mommy!!!! PINK!!!” If it were up to her, we would have come home with every single pink item in the store. She also had to learn the concept of “just because we want it and like it, doesn’t mean we need it”.
I also discovered that my daughter had no idea there were different sizes to things. She had her eye on this one particular shirt, and she immediately grabbed the one off the top, started hugging it (haha) and looked at me and said “please, Mommy? I really love this one.” I was fine with the choice, but when I told her to put that particular shirt back and that we should grab one in her size, she looked at me like I was crazy. In her mind, everything was meant for her, therefore, it would all fit.
She had also never tried things on in a room with a 360 degree mirror. We walked into the dressing room with arms full of shirts, shorts, and dresses that I wanted her to try on. She took one look and immediately started dancing and sticking her tongue out. She thought it was so funny she could see so many of herself at once. Throughout our try-on session, I had to keep reminding her to focus on what we were doing, and not constantly making funny faces and dance moves in the mirror.
When we went to check out, the cashier (a lovely older woman) was so tickled that all we were purchasing was little girl clothes – that clearly the 5-year-old girl herself had picked out. We clearly had a theme – flowers, hearts, pinks, and purples. Everything she picked up she said “oh this is just SO cute! You have great taste!!” My daughter was SO proud of herself. She kept smiling up at me, and I could just tell she felt on top of the world.
Maybe you’ve picked up on how I’m going to spin this. Sometimes, I really hate shopping. There are too many options. I need to make a practical choice – which ends up in buying primarily neutral colors that will go with everything. What size am I now? Forget the 360 degree mirror. I avoid that room like the plague.
But my daughter – my sweet, innocent daughter. It was the best morning of her life. The options! The sizes! The mirrors! The joy in making a fun decision! There was no thought of cost, insecurities, or practicality. She only saw fun.
I felt as if I unlocked another level of motherhood that day. Not only did it show me the importance of one-on-one time with my children, doing something specifically for them, but it also showed me the importance of allowing myself to be childlike. There are so many things I admire about each of my children. My son is so GOOD at his core. My first daughter is unashamedly herself. And my second daughter is so joyful.
It’s really easy to get caught up in all of the things our children are doing wrong. But, this day of shopping taught me to embrace all of the qualities that make my children – especially my five-year-old daughter – exactly who they are. What a gift it is to have a daughter who knows exactly what she wants (but also, Heaven help me).
And, of course, this day also taught me to embrace the joy that comes from doing things that, as an adult, feel overwhelming or daunting. The options! The sizes! … maybe not the mirrors.
Although, yes, we absolutely had a mini dance party in the dressing room together.
