If you ever need someone to pray for your intentions, look no further than my mom. Organized and methodical to the core, she has a running document of her intentions list. When I give her a new intention, she scribbles it in the margin until she gets to her computer to adjust, and the name remains indefinitely. A mother of two herself, she prays in particular for expectant moms and new babies.
She is a grandmother to seven grandkids, and she helps out regularly with the two who live in town. She has doctor appointments for her and my dad, not to mention grocery shopping, home maintenance, and the like, but her life is simpler now than when she was working full time and caring for two kids. She has been able to carve out more time for her personal prayer and for service to her parish. Her witness as a mother, both physical and spiritual, has changed, but she still holds her children and those around her purposefully in her heart.
The older women—Church Ladies, as some might know them—at my parish church do much the same. You know the type. Often retired or at least out of the “mom of littles” stage, they can be frequently found at daily Mass, holding down a Holy Hour, and serving the church as a part-time worker or just a woman who volunteers her time on the regular. They have transitioned into a new season now that they have more time on their hands, and they so kindly give your arm a squeeze after you’ve endured a particularly “spirited” Mass with your kiddos and say, “You’re doing a great job. I remember those days, too.”
These women, both biological and spiritual mothers, don’t get enough credit. They are upholding their church, both with their physical presence and with their prayers, and care for both the immediate needs of the people in the Church and for its spiritual needs, too. So many of these beautiful women have told me in a completely sincere way that they’re praying for me as they watch me mother my children. They bring meals, they visit the homebound, and they care for their own kids and grandkids. Their now-undistracted eyes see when people need a smile or a kindness. They do not serve at the forefront as priests or deacons, but their consistent presence at the sacraments, church events, and parish ministries is so edifying for those of us who are looking down the pipeline to a time when we can just be with the Lord without someone asking us for a snack. Because while this time mothering my children is so wonderful, and the idea of my littles not being close fills me with sadness, I can see through these women the joys that still await me in years to come.
I suppose this is how Our Lady operates, too. She isn’t at the forefront of the plan of salvation. She is just quietly offering her prayers and herself to us to bring us closer to Jesus. As a mother who cared for a Child herself—and knows all of the joys and sorrows, comforts and challenges that accompanies that—she sees our needs and brings us to the Lord without our knowing it. Her presence is upholding the Church, who has been entrusted to her care and intercession.
If you’re a Church Lady, thank you for holding my baby when my toddler needs Mom for a few minutes. Thank you for seeing me struggle through a Holy Hour with my kids and whisper on your way out how glad you are that I brought them. Thank you for adding me to an intention list and praying for me, even though I don’t know that you’re doing it. Thank you for always stopping me after Mass and telling me how beautiful my family is. Thank you for serving the Church in the unseen ways for which you often don’t receive much credit—keeping the vestments clean and pressed, arranging the flowers and beautifying the church, knitting hats for the newly baptized babies, and more. You image Our Lady and teach me how much she loves me, prays for me, and serves me, even when I fail to notice.
If you haven’t befriended a Church Lady yet, introduce yourself and allow them to spiritually mother you and your family. If they’re anything like my awesome mom, I know their hearts will be full feeling like they can continue to mother, even when their own littles aren’t at their feet. And remember that Our Lady is the OG Church Lady, so proud of us for bringing our kids to Mass and loving them the best way we can.
