Men and women were created by God in His image and likeness. They were created in equality, but with gifts and talents informed by their unique gender and sexualities. God created these unique gifts as a means for men and women to compliment each other. When unified in love, men and women reflect the loving nature of the Holy Trinity. The greatest example of this is the marital bond.
God created our first parents in marriage. He commanded them to be fruitful and multiply. He created Eve out of Adam’s side as a sign of their equality, and Adam rejoiced in her perfection. Their marriage bond came with two characteristics: Unity and Indissolubility. When a man and a woman come together, they are two individuals who become one. They leave behind their families of origin and create a new life that is never meant to be separated until death. Even after death, this unity is meant to continue in the beatific vision while expanding to all others in heaven. Thousands of years ago, when inequality was rampant among marriages in Israel, Moses allowed for divorce. However, Jesus rectifies this decision with his clear teaching that whatever God has brought together, man shall not separate.
The perfection of marriage is beautiful. However, the first sin of Adam and Eve introduced mistrust into their relationship and all relationships after. The first visible effect of their sin (realizing they were naked and hiding) was a sign of their broken relationship. Their sin led to mistrust, mistrust led to blame, blame led to the desire for domination and manipulation. Sin creates challenges in marriages that are found in all relationships, but are particularly acute due to the intimacy of the marital life.
Because of sin, humans need help to live marriage well. Jesus elevates marriage to a sacrament so that sanctifying graces can be bestowed on the participants. He allows us to access His self-giving love so that we might love our spouse as He loved us.
As the body of Christ, the Catholic Church administers, governs, and regulates marriages at the service of any couple who comes together in the matrimonial bond. For a marriage to be valid in the eyes of the Church it must have the correct matter which is simply a man and a woman who present themselves before the Church, consenting in marriage to each other. The form is the exchange of vows that the Church provides for the couple. And the minister is the couple who confer the sacrament upon each other. The Church also requires an ordained witness (bishop, priest, or deacon) to officiate the wedding.
In some instances, the Church may recognize that certain requirements of a marriage to take place were missing at the time of a wedding ceremony. In these instances, the Church will do a thorough investigation to determine if a marriage actually occurred. If they find that the marriage actually never occurred because of missing requirements even though the couple thought they were getting married at the time, the Church proclaims the marriage ‘annulled’. In these instances, the man and woman are allowed to separate, because they had never become one. While these processes are often difficult for couples, it can bring them hope and relief if they humbly work with the Church to find the truth.
Marriages are beautiful signs given to us by God that allow us to understand Him and become more like Him. It also teaches us how to love others in an intimate way. However, due to the messiness of sin, it can be difficult. But if we go to Jesus and His Church, we can be provided the graces to not only bear with our husbands and wives, but flourish as examples of God’s self giving love to the world.