This post is going to be unsolicited advice to mothers with young children – something all mothers with young children love to receive. Only this advice is practical. It’s how to respond when you get “those comments” at the store or at the park.
Picture this: It’s a random Tuesday and your children have entered into a WWE wrestling match as you’re flailing your way through Costco’s check out line that’s backed up to the fresh flower aisle…
Then someone says to you, “Wow! You have your hands full!” or “You’re gonna miss this! It goes by too fast!” or my personal favorite, “Are all those yours?”
Red. You see red. Or, your eyes roll back so far in your head you might fall backward. You think to yourself, ugh! Just offer to help! Or say something NICE! If I could be an octopus or Elasta Girl this situation would be calmer!
What if instead of rolling our eyes or instant rage or helplessness, we offered a taste of Jesus?
“Wow! You sure have your hands full!” could be met with, “Absolutely! And a full heart, too.”
“You’re gonna miss this! It goes by so fast” could be met with, “Yup! The days can be long but the weeks fly by!”
“Are all those yours?”
“Yes! Same husband and everything!” Okay, maybe that response is a little sassy… I can confirm it is effective from personal experience, though…
“Yes! Siblings are the greatest gifts!”
Our culture is obsessed with internal self-examination that is twisted with self approval. When someone says something we view as unhelpful or off color, we wish for them to “just say something nicer. Or offer to help!” We often immediately assume that we are in the right and they are in the wrong, or in the offensive. So few things are neutral these days. Even cut flowers are a point of contention on the Internet!
I want to challenge you. What if instead of thinking that we were in the right and they were “being a Boomer” we assumed they meant to be kind? What if they wanted to acknowledge that the path to motherhood is challenging and that THEY often felt overwhelmed and like their hands were full when at the grocery store. What if they, too, heard those comments from the older generation as they ran errands and couldn’t think of anything more original to say? Or even worse! What if they took that comment as acknowledgment of the kingdom work of motherhood?
There is a saying in the Camping Industry along these lines, “There are the same number of farts in the world whether you find them funny or not. Laugh at farts.” There are going to be comments that will rub you the wrong way. Give the benefit of the doubt to those slinging those comments. And for those who do mean them maliciously, offer a prayer for them. We don’t know their childhood experiences, or if their children they poured their life into have estranged them. We don’t know if they are bitter because they were never able to raise their own children or if they didn’t have a positive relationship with their own brothers/sisters.
While our cross of raising children holds immense joys, it can hit high stress levels for the public to see. We know the full story and they only see the wrestling match in aisle three, or the tantrum from pushing nap times at check out. Next time you hear those comments, take it in a positive light and when you can’t, offer a quick prayer.
“Lord, bless them. Change me.”
“Jesus, meek and humble of heart, make my heart like unto Thine.”