There are always chores to do, events and gatherings to plan, schedules to coordinate, and an endless mental to-do list. As a mother, I often have a restless mind but feel that I have adapted and am able to manage the expectations I have set for myself. However, adding an inconvenience in the day, suffering, or even the stress some people find with the holiday season, I become overwhelmed with thoughts and my to-do list is nearly impractical to prioritize. Where did I prioritize my time with the Lord on that list?
I will admit that I struggle to find devoted time each day to pray deeply. My short little prayers throughout the day are sometimes all I manage. When I feel that I have reached capacity and am burnt out, I know things would be different if I prioritized quiet prayer preemptively. Instead, I attempt to pray with my mind running a mile a minute.
Psalm 46:10 is my forever go-to in these moments. “Be still and know that I am God.” I have always reminded myself of this passage when I am at the end of my ropes and cannot take another task or feel mentally exhausted. I am drawn to the simplicity of this one line and yet, find peace resonating with the depth each word holds.
Waiting until I have exhausted myself with every worry and stressor that should not by clouding my mind, only then do I remember to remind myself to be still. That word alone is why I am devoted to this Psalm. The act of being still should be simple and it is something I yearn for in those moments. Trying to slow a river after a heavy rain which is how my thoughts can feel is a lot more challenging. That is where I can focus in on knowing that God commands the water and the waters obey Him. Knowing that God is in control, I can find stillness, no matter how strong my thoughts can be.
My daughter Mary was born still. She lay on my hospital bed still. Mary was in my arms still. I could not tell you my line of thinking in those first moments with my baby but I am sure it felt like a flood of thoughts. Months later I am putting a new spin on my favorite Psalm. I am taking myself back to that hospital room and placing Jesus next to me. In that room, He is telling me to be still and to know that He is God. He was with us in that storm and He is in control. This is the plan and the plan is greater than I can imagine. My daughter is also part of that plan. I imagine Jesus calling Mary to Him, to be still and know Him.
I find it easier to put my trust in Him with this visual. God has this and He knows my story for He is in my story: what has been, what is, and what will be. All my anxiety and stress and unreasonable worries. I can give these to God and rest knowing He is in control.
