About fourteen years ago I went to Italy and came back with this reflection. I am currently about to head to Italy once again and I thought it would be fun to revisit this reflection as I revisit the beautiful country.
“What is the hardest thing about waiting?” Seth asked me on the ride home from school yesterday.
I looked at him quizzically because for me that is a loaded question. “Why?” I decided to ask and get him to be more specific.
“I have to do a paper on how I feel when I’m waiting, like we wait in Advent.”
“Well,” I said, “how do you feel when you know you are going on a fun trip but you have to wait two more weeks before you get to go? Or on Christmas Eve and you know the next day you get to open all of those presents?”
“Anxiety?” he said and bunched up his eyebrows.
“Anxiety?” I repeated incredulously. “Why would you feel anxious about going on a trip or getting to open up presents?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I get excited too but what if something happens and I don’t get to go on the trip or something happens and the presents are gone?”
I reached over and squeezed his knee. “I guess that is the hardest part about waiting then, isn’t it? Trusting that everything will be okay and what you are waiting for will really happen.”
This lesson has been hitting home with me a great deal this week. Even though I have been enjoying living out God’s plan day by day, it has not taken away some personal hopes and dreams. Earlier this summer I briefly referred to a possible great opportunity in the mix and now that it is six months later this opportunity is STILL in the mix but I’m still waiting for it to either come to fruition and be offered OR to be told ‘sorry for the wait but it’s just not going to happen’. It is like staring at a pile of presents that I know are exactly what I asked for and waiting for someone to come and steal them right before my eyes.
There has been a lesson in the waiting in this particular issue. Not only is patience a virtue I work on while waiting, but overcoming insecurity as well. With each day, week, month and year that goes by as I walk with Christ, the issue of my insecurity is slowly chipped away and a stronger, wiser, confident spirit is revealed. I am one of God’s masterpieces and let’s just say Rome wasn’t built in a day. It’s like the famous Pieta that is in St. Peter’s in the Vatican. This statue was actually the third one created. Michelangelo had the vision and the marble but he never was satisfied with his work before the masterpiece we all recognize as the Pieta was complete.
Michelangelo’s first take on the Pieta – ‘Rondanini Pieta
Here is Michelangelo’s second take on the Pieta that is now in Florence, Italy. Very powerful but not the same message the final Pieta offers.
The Pieta we have all come to know…but did you know it is said that Michelangelo was already working on a 4th Pieta before he died? I suppose till we reach eternal glory there is always something to improve upon.
I understand Seth’s comment on the anxiety while waiting, though it breaks my heart to hear the word ‘anxiety’ come from a ten-year old’s mouth. Granted I don’t believe his form of ‘anxiety’ would be the same as maybe the anxiety I feel when I am waiting on a test result or the same anxiety a mother feels when her child is in the military overseas and she is waiting on their safe return home.
The beauty of Advent is the lesson of learning to trust God and believe in His promises while we wait for them to be delivered. That is the joy on Christmas morning recognizing that God came through, – “For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life.” (John 3:16)
The double glory of Advent is not only in celebrating Christ’s birth and embracing the promise of God’s love but remembering Christ will come again, this is a promise from God that will be delivered. This we know for certain and we have Christmas to remind us every year to ‘trust’ for though we may not know the day or hour it will happen.
God has not given me a concrete promise that this opportunity I have will actually come to fruition but He has given me gifts that need to be shared and He has asked that I not keep them hidden. With that request I know there is the promise that He will use me and these gifts to glorify Him and that is all I need to remember when I get anxious or insecure.
And for Seth even if someone came and took those presents away he can be certain God would not let him go empty handed…as I say to my children (and myself) daily, God brings good out of everything. In that worse case scenario God’s love would be shown through His people, I have no doubt. Think about this when you are asked to buy ‘sharing Sunday’ presents for families in need, or adopting a family from the St. Vincent DePaul tree, etc. YOU are showing up and fulfilling God’s promise to a family so they too can be reminded of God’s ultimate promise on Christmas morning. You are His love.
