For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? (Luke 14:28)
Jesus uses this parable when He is teaching about the cost of discipleship. He is emphasizing the point that to be His disciple, we must give up everything to follow Him. But there is also a major theme for discernment that I think is applicable for all Catholics today, especially for young Catholics and Catholics in charge of other Catholics.
The term “discernment” is an anxiety inducing term for some people. This is because many people want to go from 100% indecisiveness to 100% certainty before they act. Simply put: that’s not how things work. For many of the big decisions that we make in life, we can never be 100% certain. Getting married, buying a house, or choosing a school (for yourself or your kids) are decisions that we can research and feel good about, but never know their certainty until we live out our decision. Thus, many people stress about making the exact right decisions, myself included.
But that’s not really the life God is calling us to. Yes, he wants us to choose correctly the difference between right and wrong, sin and no sin. But when it comes to life decisions he wants to give us agency. He wants us to be creative like Him. He wants us to use our gifts and talents to make informed decisions. And when we do this humbly, we give Him glory. Like a child whose choices reflect a wise upbringing by his or her parents, the well formed Christian uses the wisdom of God in their life which ultimately gives glory to Him.
So then what should our discernment look like? Take on the wisdom of Jesus’ parable. Calculate the cost. Two simple questions we should ask are: 1. What am I/will I be doing? and 2. Why am I/will I be doing it? These questions are simple and may lead to other questions, but what each person needs to ask themselves regarding personal life decisions or Catholic community decisions is ‘does what I am discerning fit into the larger picture of the goals that God and I have for our lives?’ Now, this assumes that we generally understand God’s Word and live in accord with Him in the sacraments. If this is not the case, then before making these decisions we must reorient our lives to Him. But assuming we are in communion with God, the honest and humble answers to the questions of 1. What am I/will I be doing? and 2. Why am I/will I be doing it? can clear some of the fog that may be clouding our judgement. It answers the questions of overall purpose and meaning which is lacking in many decisions made in a culture that is based on pleasure seeking.
Then the final step is making the best informed decision that you can, living it out as best you can, and not stressing about it. Good and bad things will come from our decisions. Marriage will lead to joy and hurt no matter who you marry – so will the ordained and religious life. Houses will have their charm and their problems that will cost $1000s. Schools will have great teachers and grumpy teachers. Running into resistance does not necessarily mean that we made a bad decision. It just means that now we have an opportunity to grow in love of God and neighbor. We must trust that whatever decision that we make, God will provide the grace to enjoy the successes and endure the trials.
Ultimately, God gives us a lot of freedom. In fact, He values freedom so much that He would rather die than see us as programmed lovers. Rather, He desires us to be remade in His image and likeness – that’s why we receive His Son in the Word, the sacraments, and the Church. Jesus’ constant in His life was knowing His Father and knowing how to love like His Father. Luckily for us, He took on the cross. He answered the questions 1. What am I doing? and 2. Why am I doing it? and carried out God’s will. We must do the same and have faith that God will supply grace in our weaknesses and deficiencies, because the Father did so for Jesus, Peter, Paul and countless other saints. Ask the questions. Count the cost. Make a decision. And then act in trust, because if we are in Him, it is not us who acts, but Christ who acts through us (Galatians 2:20) with whom He is well pleased (Matthew 3:7).
