I’ve never been one to have a HUGE group of friends. Growing up, I think the largest my friend circle ever got was myself and 4 other girls in high school. In college, I had three close friends. Post-college, I moved to Pittsburgh, PA, where the only real person I knew was my boyfriend who is now my husband. It took me a while to find my footing here. I became friends with people my husband was friends with, lost some friends, gained new ones, and still maintained my best friend from back home. All of this while having my first and second child, being a stay-at-home mom and navigating my place as an upper-twenty’s woman.
Now as an early thirty’s woman, I feel like I’ve learned a thing or two about friendship. I’d say that I have 7 really close friends. Not all of them are connected to each other. In fact, it’s four small groups (my best friend back home, another girl, a group of 2 others, and then a group of 3 others). None of the groups have met each other, but they all hold many similarities to each other.
The first similarity is that I don’t feel the need to talk to them every single day. I know they’re there. I know that they know I’m here. And we will be there for each other when we need one another.
The second similarity is that we are all low maintenance. I know that seems like a silly thing to bring up. But there’s never talk of grasping at things outside of our needs, or even a feeling of comparison. The friendships are also very simple. There’s no fuss involved.
The third similarity is that there is zero judgement. Every conversation can flow easily without fear of being judged or saying the wrong thing – and also being able to say the things that are hard to admit, and in turn, being able to say hard things that one or the other person needs to hear.
The fourth similarity is that each and every one of them is striving to have a real relationship with God. Each and every one of us has a different journey and path that we’ve walked thus far, but we are all striving for Heaven. We can ask one another for prayers and know that each one will, in fact, pray for us.
I’ve had friendships where God is a common thread, but there’s judgment and comparison. I’ve had friendships that are easy, but God isn’t spoken of. Finding friends can be hard – especially when you’re “older”. In the end, it really doesn’t matter the quantity of friends. Having women who you can turn to in times of joy, sorrow, hurt, anxiety, and so on truly makes all the difference.
If you find yourself needing more quality friends, ask for God to put those people in your path in 2025 – and be open to allowing people into your life!
